i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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