I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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