Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize