Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
