u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Found the puke drawer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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