Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I deserve this hangover.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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