brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
