I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
