Are we in a gay sports bar?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
