nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
