Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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