No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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