Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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