id be glad to
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
