you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize