I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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