I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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