He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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