Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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