My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
