omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
