I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
