Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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