is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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