Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize