some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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