she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
