Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize