do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
