What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
