You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
