i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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