Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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