Will you blow on my dice?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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