why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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