I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
