I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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