dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
