Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
