Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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