I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
