i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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