you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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