that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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