I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
