Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
