There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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