You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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