david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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