vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His nipple licking is glorious
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