kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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