let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
