She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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