Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
