i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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