Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
