is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
