I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
