this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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