I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
