Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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