ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize